I felt compelled to alter this Christian tool for brainwashing children into something more appropriate for the kids...
Update: It just dawned on me that some of you may not be familiar with the original...
2008-09-24
Footprints for Children
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21 comments:
Nice! I'm going to send this to my 3 year old niece.
Hopefully this will get Chappy's head back in the right place too!
I think you should knit that onto a sweater for your dog.
My kids, when they come along, are getting this painted on the wall of their nursery. That first line is magnificent.
Perhaps I should make another version, "Pawprints for Puppies".
This is the first time I've seen this footprint thing done like this. Usually you see it with a picture of a beach scene, but then those don't look like they're designed for children, just adults who think like children, and, you know, I'm a sucker for protecting the kiddies, so I felt compelled to modify this fucking thing. Glad you all like it.
Cute…in the most pathetic sense.
I just added the original, in case anyone hasn't seen that before
Since the Friendly Atheist is also a bit of a thief -- and stole Philly's work to post himself -- I left this as part of a much longer comment at that blog.
But here's my own version of the Footprint poem:
The Lord will always walk with you,
And Santa Claus will, too.
The Easter bunny joins them both.
They'll all be there for you.
And don't forget the fairy, Child,
Who pays you for your tooth.
The monster underneath your bed?
He's also based on truth.
But as you grow much wiser, dear
You won't be so naive.
And soon those guys will disappear.
They're only make-believe.
Evo - my head is doing just fine.
Philly - good work, as usual.
Hey I saw it at Hermants place. Maybe you should get into writing kids books :)
And whats wrong with Chappy's head?
Sean - it has too much information in it.
Why don't you do something with that silly poster of the 2 sets of footprints in the sand, where Jesus says "I carried you" when times were tough?
Change it to something like "I split, because you whine too much" or something similar.
Now I'm a lounge act, taking requests? LOL
And no, I won't do Freebird.
That's what happens when you get to be big and popular. Everybody wants a piece of you.
How about Stairway to Heaven?
Well I don't think you need any special graphic treatment. You just take pre-existing crap like this and add on to the text:
Then out from under his robes came Santa Clause,
the Tooth Fairy and Capt. Morgan,
and they all held hands and said,
"We've all helped carry you, ya putz"
as they began to dance.
It was then I realized it was all a dream,
and that it is I who carry them since
they don't really exist.
I feel nothing but pity for you guys. you are all searching for happiness...but you wont find it in things of this world. It can only be found in God. Naivity is that you think the world just appeared and that naivity will turn to foolishness on the day of judgment when Christ shall return. It is my prayer that each of you will experience God's grace and goodness and be fulfilled and therefore experience true happiness and purpose. That's the gift from God I have, and if you could only experience that for 5 minutes you would no that the existance of God is undoubtable! Have faith. God Bless
Anonymous
Praying for you. God's blessings.
I didnt realise there were people in the world (I must be so dense and uninformed) that really, honestly didnt belive in God. OH dear, i thought I was lost by not "getting it at mass" etc and by skipping church most sundays, but guys - you cannot possibly dispute the fact that we have a creator. And as the famous quote goes "there is no such thing as an athiest in a storm at sea" - you (even me, as lazy a christian as i am) would be on our knees praying - why is that?
Carmel
I'd rather believe and be happy knowing there is a God out there watching over us that will give us a home in heaven after our death or his return, than to not believe in anything and walk blindly through life spreading lies and misery.
I will pray for all of you.
Romans 4:20-21
Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.
Romans 1:16-17
I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith."
Here, I do not actually imagine it will have effect.
Oh my god, there's a lot of useful info in this post!
No matter how much you carry on aout the Christians, you will never deny, deep down in your soul that you have something missing in your life. Spend time alone and truly think seriously on these things. "There is a God-shaped hole in all of us". Nothing this world has to offer can ever fill it.
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